jacque's baby shower

since most of the couples in our lifegroup are pregnant there are going to be quite a few posts about baby showers. we had jacque c's a month ago and it was so much fun! we had a few games, lots of food and there were some great gifts. i had to steal some pictures from jackie m's blog since she is the photographer of the group.next up: jamie's shower that we just had in a fun little tea room in the decorators wharehouse.

love.

4 months. 16 weeks. 112 days. a third of the year.

it doesn't matter how you look at it...that's a long time to not talk to someone. that's a long time to act like you don't care. that's a long time to hurt the people that were the most supportive of you. that's a long time for you to act like nothing has happened.

it's been a hard 4 months. it's been an insane roller coaster that has had too many ups and downs for my liking. i get mad at myself for being sad or hurt that she left...like i don't think that she deserves my sadness. it really bothers me that when i see something that she bought me or reminds me of her and then i get upset. it's like this whole thing is always around me and i can't catch my breath.

it's been over a month since she has tried to have any contact with me (and even that was so minimal it's almost not worth mentioning) and even though i don't really want to talk to her right now i get mad that she hasn't even tried. it makes me feel unwanted by her, unloved by her. how can a mother be like that?

i can't thank certain people enough for being there for me & my family over this time. from old friends to new friends to some family to members of our church to co-workers...everyone has been great. i am so much more thankful that i am close to my dad, brother, & sister. i am so much more thankful for being a part of the maples family.

and now as the tears stream down my face and i'm not even sure why i am deciding to write this and post it on the internet, i'm saying goodnight. i could still really use your prayers (obviously).

thanks. love.

i really love fall. i love that the air is getting a little cooler (there's a fine line between cooler and cold though) and that the trees are starting to change colors. i really missed the colorful leaves when i lived in california and am happy that we will have that here. i woke up early (for me on a saturday) and made some chai and curled up with my kitty kitties on the couch with a blanket. i was actually surprised when they both hopped up on the couch to snuggle me. they are really sweet cuddly cats, but on their terms. :-)

craig and i aren't planning on having kids for another 2-3 years, but we can already tell that our 2 spoiled cats are going to have a hard time with new additions. we're also hoping to add a dog into that mix in another year or two (craig said our dog WILL BE a german shepherd and it WILL BE a boy dog and his name WILL BE chief...hahaha).
here are our cats on our unmade bed. coco's on the left and tobias is on the right. they're brother and sister from the same litter. craig had coco and i had tobias before we got married.

love.